Today

Today is so hard. I want so badly for Brie to be bringing Curren home today.

I am reminded that there is no greater joy than to see Jesus. Her joy is complete. Even the joy of a mother bringing her new baby home does not come close. That is nearly impossible for my mind to wrap itself around, but brings me peace all the same.

Look at this face!

Look at sweet Curren Blaec Gomez!!

I am in love with this picture of him. He is free of oxygen, of the feeding tube, of everything! God has worked some miracles with him. He is almost six pounds now, and will probably be going home on Monday. Monday! He has come so far. I am so in awe of his progress and of his very life. If he had not kicked when the EMT had his hand on Brie's tummy, I do not know where we would be today. God saved him. God placed that hand there to feel exactly when he would kick. God received his mom and left Curren to live here. The Champion, saved by the ultimate Champion Himself. God keeps on saving, keeps on loving, keeps on blessing, and keeps on fighting for us. Many have come to know Him through this. I still hate that my friend is not here to see this precious face and to hold her only son. But God will work all things for good. It has not and will not be easy, but it will be for our good. The Gomez family will reap a bountiful harvest, because they are not giving up. Brie and I would always remind each other that God is who He says He is...from the "Believing God" Bible study we did. He can do what He says He can do. He says he can give us life to the full, even when it feels so empty lately. The reason we hope is because the truth Brie spoke, the truth we believe in, does not change when life is lower than you thought it could be. God still speaks this truth to our souls, asking us to believe Him. Believe Him for the details, for the future, for the nights Eric wants and needs Brie there, for the days Mali will want to tell her momma something and can't, for the moments Eleri wants her momma to hold her and love on her, for all of it. He is so believable. He is Truth. He is the only Rock we cling to. He is our Champion. This sweet little champion has some huge things to do in his life. I cannot wait to watch, and, of course, cry, over all he will become. All that he has already become. Thanks, God.

M, E, double S=MESS

Mailey is 20 months old! Oh no, what are we going to do with an almost 2 year old?? You definitely cannot call a 2 year old your baby. Where did the time go?

Here are 20 things Mailey can do:
(these will more than likely explain the title of this post)
1. Repeat any word you say to her, with a baby/West Texas flair.
2. Sit in the cup drawer.
3. Get completely naked in her crib at random times. Sometimes only partially naked, but always without bottoms. This leads to some leakage of pee, and her yelling, "Momma, out, out, wet!"
4. Get on Makenna's and Tracen's and her own big girl bed.
5. Talk on the phone and say, "Uh, huh. Okay. Yes. Good, good, good," over and over.
6. Turn off the wii, regardless of who might be doing their Zumba workout on it.
7. Stand in her highchair.
8. Stand on the kitchen table, about 20 times a day.
9. Sit on the potty.
10. Throw a fit and scream and kick like a banshee.
11. Ask for hugs all day.
12. Sing random pieces of songs, such as Justin Bieber "Baby, baby, baby," and Jesus loves me.
13. Count 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 2...2!!
14. Peruse her outfits in her closet declaring which ones are "cute, cute."
15. Tell us, "Nope, don wan it."
16. Climb on the side of her crib to turn on her music. At least we know where the battery life keeps going now.
17. Find the toilet scrubber no matter where I hide it and scrub her body with it.
18. Open the front door, even when locked on the bottom.
19. Get the broom and sweep the kitchen floor, her highchair, and the walls.
20. Climb on drawers to get to the top bathroom drawer, get my vaseline, and rub it all over her lips.

Whew, this girl wears us out! But we looove it. She is the funniest little lady and keeps us smiling and cracking up all the time. She also keeps us on our toes...tippy top of our toes. Happy 20 months, Mailey Baby!

Who do you love? (from my old phone)

Hit

Here are some things I've heard and read that have hit me in the past 2 days. Some have even taken the breath out of my lungs...still do just thinking about them:

Curren is off oxygen and in an open crib.

"Mom, when I was in PE they had a running contest, and I came in last place. Everyone was laughing at me, and I cried. Today we did it again. I came in last again. No one laughed, though. Why did they laugh?"-Tracen

Joanne said her mom's sweater was black.-The Simple Wife (first word uttered in weeks after a major stroke, she is 38.)

"The hospital Anton is in is trying to get rid of him. He will soon be transferred to a Russian orphanage and will lose his one-on-one care. There is no way he can get the bandage changes and have the kind of care he needs in the orphanage. Things are certainly looking down. Please share his story with anyone you know who might be open to adopting him."-story of an EB child born in Russia who's mother did not want him because of his skin disease. She did want his twin, but left Anton in the hospital.

"Kate wanted to pray last night. She decided to pray quietly, and we encouraged her to do it however she desired. She took her left hand and slowly made her fingers intertwine with her right. She closed her eyes and quietly begged Jesus to heal her young body. Please do the same.

We deal with the conversations of cancer as they come up, trying not to make it the only thing we talk about with the kids. Again, we were talking and I tearfully told Kate if there were anyway I could fight this for her, take this on myself, bear her pain myself, I would. I would readily take cancer over seeing her have to battle it. In her deep desire and ability to love, she softly said, "oh no mom. I would never want you to have to fight this. I would much rather fight it myself than watch you." I am astounded at her maturity, and her deep love and compassion for others. It makes me unbelievably proud, and it hurts so unbelievably bad."-from Kate McRae's caringbridge page. Her last MRI showed new tumor growth after an already 18 month battle. She is in kindergarten.

A godly mom remembering her precious daughter here.

"Getting to the place of, 'God alone,' is painful, but that place is a wonderful place to stay. Significant rest comes to the soul when we accept that God alone is in charge of our honor. God does not just defend our honor. He defines it."-Beth Moore study of David

Hope you can breathe better...I sure can...knowing that God is our place of rest in every situation around all of us.

Nada Pinata

Do you ever feel like that? Like nothing at all is worth saying or doing or talking about or spending time on? I've been having that feeling lately. (see last post)

Sure I have a lot going on. Most days I feel like I am barely making it, and still someone is never played with enough, never fed the right thing, and never has the clothes washed that they need. Can you see my three children in the above statement?? I've decided that ALL of us have A LOT going on. Too much if we're honest. Why do we keep going and going until we drop, until our children lose sleep and homework time, until we don't even know each other anymore besides a quick text late at night?

The whole not really having a job thing has definitely put a damper on some plans we made for gymnastics and music classes, but now I am secretly thankful. I completely believe in the value of them all, and cannot wait for my kids to be a part of some great experiences. I even get really upset sometimes that we are "missing the window" or "causing them to be behind their peers." I also get angry that we can't afford to do what we all want them to do. BUT this time of only Upward basketball(which is enough, thank you very much, with 2 kids having games at the same time and back to back all over Lubbock) has been nice. Most nights we are home. We do normal snack, homework, play, dinner, bath, and bed. Tyson is gone for a lot of that due to selling cars...did I mention he was doing that?...and teaching night classes at Wayland. For the most part we just are here in the evenings, and I really am so thankful!

Maybe this is why I've got nothing to post right now.

Yes, I could do every post on my emotional struggles losing Brie, my insecurities about our future, my worries about different health things with my kid, or what I am having for dinner. But right now I've just got nada. (You might be praying for nothing when I again pour my heart out all over the page in a sloppy mess, which I know I will happen, so be ready.)

And for your information, we were having veggie lasagna, but after seeing how long I needed to chop things, I have decided on something way more exciting. Leftovers.

Sun

This is our only snow day(s) picture. When you cannot find the ski clothes bag because heaven only knows where that would be after living in 10 places and storage facilities, and add the fact that is was 6 outside when this picture was taken you are left with one picture.

Makenna's sweet dog couldn't go outside in this weather, so poor Aussie has spent her days cooped up in this:
This make-shift cage is made by opening up the back door until it bumps into Tracen's shelf. (His room is in the sunroom behind some bookshelves. He asked for a baby gate for his bday so Mailey would not come in and destroy his lego creations.) I love our dog, but I do not love dog hair, so this is the solution. She gets let out easily and keeps warm all at once.

This is today, basking in the sun. Though it is a whopping 27 degrees, Aussie is loving it. Twenty anything is great after single digits for so long. Negative numbers are not good numbers either!

Enjoy the sun...if you have any!

Potty 101

I really wanted to begin the potty training process this week with Mailey. She is nearly 20 months, has showed MUCH interest, does potty sign when she pees, hides to poop and then announces it, and loves sitting on the potty. But of course, yesterday she started having some weird, less than solid poop. TMI, but this momma is not dealing with the gloppy poos in cute panties. Or in any panties at all! I hate that word. Underwear is so much better. Here is Miss Priss on the pot. I know this is such silly blog fodder, but really, documentation is the goal here.
Enjoy Her Majesty on the Throne. hahahaaaahaaaaa!