Beauty Out of Chaos

After a long, hard journey, Carrie, Beth, Tom (Brie's dad), Rachel, and I have the devotional book in our hands. After Brie died we got busy choosing, editing, voting, editing, adding scripture, adding questions, and editing again. The end result of such a labor of love is here, available for purchase. The book looks so beautiful. See?

Brie would alternate between loving it, being completely appalled she was in any center of attention, and being overflowing with gratitude. I had a picture in my head when I got the book, seeing Brie all flustercated about the whole thing, smiling and crying and telling us she couldn't believe we did this. Not that I believe that is what she is doing in heaven or anything at all, just a thought I had that made me smile and cry altogether. I do that so often lately!

Beth and I went to Amarillo to organize the kids' closets and clothes, etc, last Friday. I could not put this guy down at all.


When I dropped Beth off at 11 something pm that night, it hit me again that Brie is not there. I sobbed like a silly all the way around the Loop home.

"Why God, why on earth is my friend gone?? Do you see that sweet baby who won't know her?? Do you hear Eleri asking for her?? Do you see Mali not knowing what to do with all this?? Do you hear Eric's cries for help??"

We had a little "sit-down" in the car. :)

I just needed to tell Him, again, what was on my heart so heavy. He took it all, and then spoke to me.

He told me, "This is not her home."

"I know, I know, God, but what were you thinking?? They need her! I need her! Carrie and Beth need her! I know, but...!!!"

In my soul, He spoke again, "Nor is it yours."

"Thank you, because I don't want it to be."

All this to say, God can handle my crying fits, and my questions. I know the truth. I believe Him and take Him at his Word. I think so many times we all just hold it in, or let a little bit out, instead of just going all at it with God. Moses did it. Job did it. Jesus did it. Why can't we? We believe somehow those were spiritual giants who, of course, had a "different" relationship with God than we possibly can. Bull. If you believe in our New Testament Jesus, and in the validity of the Word of God, you are also his chosen one, holy, righteous, and loved. He rejoices over you and sings over you. He holds you in the palm of His hand. We are saints. We are accepted into the brotherhood, clean because of Christ's shedding of blood. We can enter the Holy of Holies, because that veil was torn. No more sacrifices or offerings or speaking through a high priest. Jesus is the High Priest, and we can speak straight to Him any time we choose. One day even face to face, where Brie is speaking to him now. Tracen asked me if Brie had met Noah the other night. Probably so, buddy. But most importantly, she has met Yahweh. Jesus. The one whom the people of the Old Testament could not even speak or write out His full name. Brie is in His presence today. Hallelujah!
I hope that if you order her book, you are encouraged by a regular girl you could have gotten coffee with on a chilly morning. She was growing in Christ, raising her family, and ministering to others in His love. A saint on Earth? No. A saint in heaven today? Yes. On Earth Brie gave all glory and honor to God. She knew everything she did could honor Him, and she was always striving to turn every situation back to Him. You can read it in her words. I am so, so glad that she blogged so often. She had a lot to say to all of us. Here is the link if you want one:
http://web.me.com/currenschampions
Beauty Out of Chaos...the perfect story of our imperfect lives here on Earth.

This is not our home.

Pretty Paige, or Marvelous Madeline

Our niece, Madeline Paige Poorman, is a SENIOR!!! I cannot believe that she, Kody, my nephew, and Tate, my other nephew, are all Seniors this year. I met them when they were 3. Crazy!

Over Spring Break we were able to travel to San Antonio on our tour of Texas, and Paige was having her Fashion Show at her school the same night. We loved being able to pretend that we were part of their everyday life and go to the show.

Paige has always been Paige...until she moved to San Antonio. She decided that if her parents named her Madeline, that she should be called that. So all her friends know her as Madeline, and we all call her Paige. I've heard a rumor that she will go back to Paige in college...we'll see. She is always Paige to us!!

Here are some pictures of her night. She looked so cute, and I wish I could have gotten some better pics. It totally reminded me of my Senior fashion show...I had a red dress, too, and made me think of how long ago that really was. Time flies by, just have a kid and you will understand this firsthand. Seeing Paige twirling around at 17 is not that different from seeing her twirling around at my wedding in 1997. I was just discussing this with Makenna last night after another of many discipline...aka her mouth...issues. She realized that she only had 8 1/2 more years to live here with us, and then she would be gone. How much of that has been wasted? Parenting your first child, especially if she is "spirited" as Jillian would say, is a challenge. We fear we have very well ruined them sometimes. But their strong will WILL benefit them one day. I've seen it as Paige has grown up. She is a beautiful girl, has very high standards and expectations, has yet to give her heart away to a boy, and knows what God wants her to be. This upcoming journey she's about to go on is scary. She has no idea where she will be going to college between aTm and Tech, and is still clinging to the fact that God has the perfect plan for her life. I have complete faith in her, too! I look to her as an example for Makenna's future. I want to be confident that Mak will follow the path God has laid out for her, too. Thanks for loving my kids and our God, Paigeriffic! We love you!
Fondue Night

All 3 never look at the same time

Mailey thinking she is runway-ready

Grandma and Maliey

Happy Birthday, Sweet Brie

Today my Bradford Pear tree is losing it's petals. Seeing them fall expresses perfectly what I feel today. They are a reminder of Brie. She loved those trees, and the fact they are falling today fits. Life is going on, and she is free and filled with unexplainable joy in heaven.

Happy 31st Brie.

Prayers

If you look at the last post about Mailey's first haircut, you can see my hair girl, Robin, cutting it. I met Robin when my old stylist had to be put on bedrest, and what a blessing she is. She is a sweet friend now, having shared many stories and burdens over the past few years of getting my hair done. She also cuts all my kids' hair. I just love her! She has two little girls, and Makenna loves how she is soooo frufy and stylish. She loves how Robin gives her a "bump it" West Texas style when she does her hair. (Not that this would transfer into Makenna actually letting me EVER do her hair or anything). My mom did not get the opportunity much with me either, I hear, so serves me right. :) While we were getting Mailey's hair cut, Robin shared a story with me about her niece. I knew her sister has some health problems, and that Shelbee, her niece, was a miracle adoption as a baby. Robin always talked about their precious little 6 year old niece and how amazing it was that they have her. Last Thursday, Shelbee's face went numb on one side, and they went to the doctor. After a wrong diagnosis, they were encouraged to do an MRI. The news was devastating. Shelbee has a Stage 4 Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma, or DIPG. This tumor is on her brain stem, wrapped throughout nerves and vessels. It is inoperable due to the location. The prognosis is very grim. They are currently at MD Anderson trying whatever treatments available. It makes me want to say, "I can't imagine!" I read a blog awhile back about this exact statement. When people say those words, they come from a right heart and usually from not knowing what exactly to say. But thinking about how the people going through something as horrible as this are imagining and living it makes your perspective change. We should imagine it. We should go there, trying to feel what it would be like, what it is like, for them. God gives us empathy and mercy. He wants us to bear each other's burdens, praying continually. I have been burdened for this family. Yes, it is hard to imagine. But I also believe God wants us to imagine, and to pray. Robin says they are asking for a miracle, because Shelbee is their miracle girl. Also because God is all about miracles. So please pray for Shelbee and her family as they go down this hard, hard path. Pray that as they are upheld by His righteous right hand, that they would be covered in prayers of intercession for their girl. Thanks for praying, and imagining, because our prayers are powerful and effective.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/shelbeeroberts

First Cut

Baby AJ is on the way!

Have I really forgotten to mention that we are going to have a nephew very soon???

I am so excited for Marc and Sarah. It makes me jump and scream, "Hallelujah!!" Can you tell I've been waiting for some cousins our age for years. My kids will still be oldies, but this will be so good! Woooohoooooo!

All we know is that baby boy Uptmore will have the initials A.J.U. after my grandaddy, A.J. Uptmore. Marc has always wanted to honor him that way, and now he gets the chance. We love guessing the name...Alvin, Arbor, Anden, Ayden, Albuquerque...we don't care which, just that he is almost here. Sarah is due around the end of April, and will have all summer with this little man. And me. (Don't tell her I will be there all the time. It is a surprise.)
;)

We had a shower for her last weekend in Corinth, TX, at my cousins' house. So many of her friends came and it was super fun! She got lots of great things to welcome this little boy.

We also celebrated Scott's birthday. Today he is 27 years old. 27!!!! How did we get so old? 35, 31, and 27. Wonder how old my parents feel if I feel this old already?? hahahahaaha! My parents probably feel younger than I do some days!


Sarah and I at her shower
Marc's sweet BFF Mandy came up!
Table of Safari snacks
Mailey when anyone asks her to smile and Mim
Mim and Sarah...one proud soon-to-be grandmother again!
Hostesses
Scott birthday dinner. See Daniel Hester(poor guy just had surgery) back from China?! The Trifecta is once again complete. We missed that boy.
Amundsons minus Ryan and Abilou
I just need a little bite of icing
Maybe Uncle Scott needs some, too
2 peas
Uncle, Auntnie, Mim
Marc, Melissa, Scott...we are old
Happy Baby and Happy Birthday!