Today is the day. I have been thinking about it and dreading it for awhile. Today I am supposed to be having a baby. Today I am supposed to be in the hospital. Today I am supposed to be figuring out how to do this again. Today I am supposed to be seeing the brand new face of a little one...supposed to.
Really, supposed to is all wrong. I know that deep in my heart. I am just supposed to be loving God, loving my family, and doing what He has called me to do today. That is it. God has perfect and proserous plans for me, and believing that I am supposed to be having a baby today is showing unbelief in him, and I believe Him...so instead of supposed to be, I just was going to have a baby sometime around today, and now I am not. Still in his plans, still believing God. That is where I am today, and I hope to be all my days ahead. Believing God. I love Him the same today as I did on December 27th when one of my closest friends from 7th grade on, who also happens to be a doctor now, had to call me and say, "Melissa Lee (that is what he has always called me), I need to tell you things do not look good." He believes just as I do that life begins at conception, and knew just what to say. I could not have asked for anyone better to have to tell me the news. (Thanks, my sweet David S!) So today is still a day to be celebrated because God has given it to me. I love Him for it, and I believe Him with my life...and the lives of all of my children.
Supposed to....no, not today.
2025 Recap
4 months ago
5 comments:
you are a strong lady! i am mourning with you today but also celebrating God's sovereignty. love you much.
Melissa Lee! Why did you not talk about this the other day! I am crying and I love you, love you, love you! That sweet baby is in Jesus' arms and one day you'll meet him or her!
Sooo I just found your blog. And I am so impressed that you were able to write about this! Clint and I felt the very same way back in April! It is so hard to understand why things work out the way they do, but I can honestly say that we have had many opportunities to share and comfort from a new perspective. I still cannot listen to the Watermark song Glory Baby without losing it...
Miss you!
That post made me cry! I thought I was keeping up but I guess not. You write so beautiful just like a song you are so very talented. I too think of what would have been with the one we lost and let Jesus have to soon. I am reminded always at Makenna's birthday because you were 6 months along at the time. I look at her and think WOW our's would be that age.
i know stacie, and i have cried over that little one many times. i cannot wait to meet him one day...it has always seemed like a him to me? love you and cannot wait to see you guys.
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