Another One Bites the Dust

Well, another tooth has been lost. Did you know only ONE tooth in this child's head has actually come out the "old fashioned" way? So how did we end up with such an empty and shiny mouth?
-Top two front-fell down while pushing a wheelbarrow, killed both teeth, age 13 months.(right one is stuck in there still because the gums have "glued" themselves to it.)
-Bottom left-hit while jumping and holding on to the back of the recliner, knocked into a very odd angle, had to call dentist at home and meet for an emergency extraction, age 3.
-All five $2500 silver (ghetto) teeth-failure to thrive, or eat, for the first 4.5 years of life led us to this situation of no nutrition equalling no teeth, age 5.
-Top left-flaked off because it was killed at 13 months,came out in 2 pieces a month apart, age 6.
-Bottom right-ONLY TOOTH TO BECOME LOOSE ON ITS OWN, pulled by mom, age 7.
-Top left of front, as seen in above pics, knocked loose last month by hitting a playscape at a cookout, pulled from dangling by mom, age 8.
Moral of the story...pray your kids eat, never go to the fanciest dentist in town, accept the truth that your husband doesn't do teeth aka touch or pull them, and create great support stories for your daughter so she believes more silver=more bling.