Beauty Out of Chaos

After a long, hard journey, Carrie, Beth, Tom (Brie's dad), Rachel, and I have the devotional book in our hands. After Brie died we got busy choosing, editing, voting, editing, adding scripture, adding questions, and editing again. The end result of such a labor of love is here, available for purchase. The book looks so beautiful. See?

Brie would alternate between loving it, being completely appalled she was in any center of attention, and being overflowing with gratitude. I had a picture in my head when I got the book, seeing Brie all flustercated about the whole thing, smiling and crying and telling us she couldn't believe we did this. Not that I believe that is what she is doing in heaven or anything at all, just a thought I had that made me smile and cry altogether. I do that so often lately!

Beth and I went to Amarillo to organize the kids' closets and clothes, etc, last Friday. I could not put this guy down at all.


When I dropped Beth off at 11 something pm that night, it hit me again that Brie is not there. I sobbed like a silly all the way around the Loop home.

"Why God, why on earth is my friend gone?? Do you see that sweet baby who won't know her?? Do you hear Eleri asking for her?? Do you see Mali not knowing what to do with all this?? Do you hear Eric's cries for help??"

We had a little "sit-down" in the car. :)

I just needed to tell Him, again, what was on my heart so heavy. He took it all, and then spoke to me.

He told me, "This is not her home."

"I know, I know, God, but what were you thinking?? They need her! I need her! Carrie and Beth need her! I know, but...!!!"

In my soul, He spoke again, "Nor is it yours."

"Thank you, because I don't want it to be."

All this to say, God can handle my crying fits, and my questions. I know the truth. I believe Him and take Him at his Word. I think so many times we all just hold it in, or let a little bit out, instead of just going all at it with God. Moses did it. Job did it. Jesus did it. Why can't we? We believe somehow those were spiritual giants who, of course, had a "different" relationship with God than we possibly can. Bull. If you believe in our New Testament Jesus, and in the validity of the Word of God, you are also his chosen one, holy, righteous, and loved. He rejoices over you and sings over you. He holds you in the palm of His hand. We are saints. We are accepted into the brotherhood, clean because of Christ's shedding of blood. We can enter the Holy of Holies, because that veil was torn. No more sacrifices or offerings or speaking through a high priest. Jesus is the High Priest, and we can speak straight to Him any time we choose. One day even face to face, where Brie is speaking to him now. Tracen asked me if Brie had met Noah the other night. Probably so, buddy. But most importantly, she has met Yahweh. Jesus. The one whom the people of the Old Testament could not even speak or write out His full name. Brie is in His presence today. Hallelujah!
I hope that if you order her book, you are encouraged by a regular girl you could have gotten coffee with on a chilly morning. She was growing in Christ, raising her family, and ministering to others in His love. A saint on Earth? No. A saint in heaven today? Yes. On Earth Brie gave all glory and honor to God. She knew everything she did could honor Him, and she was always striving to turn every situation back to Him. You can read it in her words. I am so, so glad that she blogged so often. She had a lot to say to all of us. Here is the link if you want one:
http://web.me.com/currenschampions
Beauty Out of Chaos...the perfect story of our imperfect lives here on Earth.

This is not our home.