A Different Kind of Mother's Day

This Mother's Day we went to Amarillo for church. We left at 7:15 to get there by 9:30am. Eric invited us to a very special day for their family. Their church dedicates babies on Mother's Day. Ugh! Such a hard day anyway, and then baby dedication, too. But Eric knew Brie wanted Curren to be dedicated before their church, just like the girls were, and he did not run away from a potentially hard day. Baby dedication is just a time to commit yourselves to pray and guide the little ones in your church all the days of their life. This in no way is a baptism or neccesity for a child. It is simply a set aside time to introduce new babies and to pray for them as a body of believers, as well as for their families. We were nervous to be in the same sanctuary again for the first time after Brie's service. But really? Eric and Brie's family has been in that sanctuary every Sunday since the accident, and we could do it, too. It was such a peaceful morning. They also dedicated 40something babies at that campus alone! Whew...tons of babies. Eric, the girls, and the grandparents walked out on stage. They introduced the babies in a line. Eric was asked previously how he wanted them to announce Curren. What a question. He immediately replied that they should do the same as they were for every baby. Curren Blaec Gomez, the son of Eric and Brie. Curren is Brie's son. Eric was also able to have some great conversations with Mali the week before. It is super hard to be in school and Sunday school the week before Mother's Day. Have you ever thought of that? Every art project and discussion and party is focused on honoring your Mother. Mali was struggling with making a card, and if she should make it for Eric because she does not have a mommy. Eric was able to tell her that she does have a mommy, Brie, who will always be her mommy. When he looks at his kids, they will always be seen as Brie's kids. That does not change. What a small sense of freedom he found. They did not run away from a hard day, but went through it together. Yes, it was hard. So hard. Looking on stage I could just see Brie in her little sundress, holding her baby boy, shoulders scrunched, and beaming. The hole is definitely still there. Every year there will be talks, different feelings, and new struggles to work through on Mother's Day. But I have decided that facing it head-on is a good choice. Mali and Eleri came to visit us this past weekend for a few hours, too, and Eleri and I had a good conversation about her mommy. She said she wanted to call me mommy, and then she proceeded to do so. For a second I thought we should just ignore it, being that she is only 2. But I thought about Brie and what she would do. She would not have ignored it, but corrected it in her therapist/mommy way that I loved. I just went over to Eleri in the swing and told her I wasn't her mommy, and that she did have a mommy. She said she didn't. I told her she did, and that her mommy was in heaven, and she would see her and hug her again one day. Eleri told me I was her mommy's friend. Yes, I was, and I was her friend, too. I told her I love her and will always love her because I loved her mommy so much, too. She was good with that, and went back to calling me Miss Lissa for the most part. It was just enough for her little 2 year old mind to take and understand. I am so glad I did not shy away from talking with her about it. The kids loved playing together last weekend and this one. I love seeing joy in the midst of all the sadness. I hated looking out my kitchen window, seeing 2 lawn chairs for the moms instead of 3. Yet listening to the laughter and squeals of our kiddos reminded me of how much Brie would have wanted this to go on. We will always love hers as ours, celebrating Mother's Day in a very different, but still joyous way.