Long gone

Welp. I've been doing life and not blogging one bit.  Kinda nice, and kinda stressful.

Recap:
December 30-inkling of being prego
January 3-yep I am
January 7-you have insurance
January 14- you don't have insurance
January 15- Tyson's birthday...39 is close to 40 :)
January 16-sickness begins with Tracen
Bluuuuuur, couch, bed, same clothes, showers optional, flu, infections, croup, ears, bluuuuuur
January 30- my birthday...37 is just old
February-sick round 3 or 4 or 5, Tyson included
February 14- V-day, Mailey sick
February 26- ultrasound for nuchal translucency screening, due to advanced maternal age. Awesome.

That's about it.  Besides the shock and disbelief of having another kiddo, I think we've handled it alright!  I have never been sick pregnant, just weird feeling.  This time I was super nauseous. I didn't throw up, but felt sick all day. I gagged a billion times a day, which is kinda embarrassing to be talking to someone and then just gag a bit and go on. Ugh!  I am beyond grateful to God for whatever he is thinking in surprising us with another child.   I am not worthy of having this life inside me, and think constantly of those waiting for a child of their own.  Those girls are on my heart and in my prayers all the time. Though we have nothing but a pack-n-play, I know things will be alright. I have many moments of stress and uncertainty.  We are praying for a house to better accommodate all of us. Mailey is in the sunroom, no door, doesn't stay in her bed, and I cannot think of another organizational scheme to make things better here.  I am so glad we have had a place to live for these crazy no job years. So  many do not and most have to do an apartment.  We are fine, just looking for something better for our family.

Makenna has struggled with panic again.  Ugh.  It began in December and has been every single night but a few for over 3 months.  We have changed up some things in therapy, and she just started on some medicine to help that does not have horrible side effects.  We are praying this can help her.  We've had severe defiance disorder/ocd OR panic, never both at once.  Oh my not fun.  But they all stem from each other, and we won't stop fighting the battle for her.  Though sometimes I think I might lose it!!!!  Ha!  She has also done basketball outside of Upward for the first time this year and has learned a lot.  She is happy and likes it and it wears her out. She is also still in cello, only bc we are making her finish her commitment, but is liking it more again.  If it is hard, she bows up...possibly for months...but then ends up enjoying it like she used to.

Tracen is good. He had a huge ear infection that took 3 meds.  We haven't had to deal with that in years.  The dr said it was one of the worst she had ever seen in there.  He is still doing allergy shots for his grasses and on 2 meds a day for his cold hives.  He only had them about 6 times this season, and 4 were in very small areas instead of everywhere.  One sad thing was that on the way to Hewitt in the car they asked for the air bc they were hot.  We all fell asleep after that, and I woke up and looked back at Tracen.  I never turned the air down, and he was sleeping with his head turned to the side. On his cheek was a huge hive, from the air conditioner.  Oh my.  It is hard to think and consider the possibilities of when this could happen.  I am hoping that swimming will be fine this summer and not a problem.  He is very good at swimming and has wanted to join a swim club.  I pray it is ok!  He is also on his same baseball team.  We love the team and coach, and he really likes all about it.  Hopefully his skills will keep growing.  He struggles with speed and hitting the ball.  I am so ok with it because he likes being on his team and the coach is wonderful.  We'll see how much more baseball is in our future, but as long as he is having fun, I am all for it.

Mailey is still crazy mess girl.  She is just so so hilarious.  The words she will come up with crack us up.  She is loving and fun and happy.  Now she can throw a whopper fit or push the limits, too!  There is just a party in her world and she is glad to be alive.  Very refreshing!!  She keeps getting sinus infections, so she probably has the other kids' issues to some extent.  I am looking for a ballet class for her in the summer or something.  She wants to be a ballerina sooooo badly.  I signed her up for 4 year pre-k next year.  So big and I'm so sad!!  She was my baby in her sling when Tracen was in that class.  Now there will be a new baby in a sling while she goes.  But let me tell you, I am NOT ready to give this girl up. School for her might kill me.  She is my encouragement and light through the day.  I am totally crying just typing this.  Wow.

Tyson is really liking his job.  He is also exceeding the goals they have set for him.  I am so so glad. He drives a lot, but is only gone about a night every week or two.  He still teaches at Wayland and loves that, too.  I think I will always struggle with insecurity in his job.  But as I have said before, the perspective I have gained for people will forever be changed.  I always empathized, sometimes too much, with the struggles of everyone, but now it is just deeper.  The way my eyes see is different.  None of us know how anyone is struggling, and I just see people as all that way, no matter what their status.  I am so thankful, and I do not want these eyes to stop seeing like this.  I also am grateful for my kids' perspective being changed.  Nothing is guaranteed in life, and you never know why or how someone got to where they are.  Just blessed.

Ok, that is our boring family update.  Maybe I'll get better at documenting life again.  I hope so. Not even one picture is weird for me!

ps-oh my word it is maybe kinda possibly getting warmer.  amen.